Black and Blue and riddled with guilt

Have you ever noticed that no matter how 'baby proof' your house is, no matter how vigilant you are in monitoring his play, your child will find a way to put himself in harms way.
Liam has become quite proficient at pulling himself up to a standing position from his belly. He still hasn't figured out how to get to a sitting position or crawl with his belly off of the floor but you just try and stop him from standing.
Now this new development has its ups and downs. Of course its a milestone that makes a father proud. Chris is already boasting that Liam will be walking by ten months just like he did. "That's my boy, chip off the old block"... OK I just channeled MY father there. Chris doesn't actually say those things, yet.
As a mother, I think Whoa there, slow down, whats your hurry?
There's plenty of time, later, for standing and walking and moving in the general direction of independence; a direction that points you away from your mommy. Stop that!
Only he's not listening to me, he is too busy doing a chin up off the crib rail.

Although I can't remember, it seems the business of standing up is quite rewarding and only achieved if one is committed to its habitual execution, at all costs.

Liam's training schedule is quite demanding. He hardly has a free moment anymore. Every morning, after breakfast we used to retire to the living room to play on the floor. Toys? Psh, mother, I can't be bothered with toys, I have to practice standing up here, and over there and off your leg and BANG, followed by SCREEEEAAAAAM. Soothe and repeat.

Our living room floor is covered with blankets and pillows. But I swear, on his way down, he scans the area for that one patch of rug not protected. Does it hurt? I'm sure. Will he be brain damaged or even concussed? No. Do I feel a wave of anxiety when I'm in the bathroom or in the kitchen or sitting right next to him and he falls? Yes. Anxiety followed by guilt. Soothe and repeat.
We had a super long day yesterday. We spent the early afternoon visiting with friends at their home in Raleigh. Then we went to Chris' soccer game and then to visit my sister in the hospital. By the time we got home it was late but Liam was in such a good mood, showing no signs of sleepiness so we plunked him down on the floor to play for a few. Chris and I collapsed on the couch and rehashed the days events. Chris is a little more protective of the babe than I am when it comes to letting him figure things out on his own. I'm not sure why that is or if that's even normal. So when Chris got up to leave the room he offhandly said "watch him". If I responded at all it was a slight nod or "mhmm". I pulled out the laptop to check my email, Liam simultaneously decided to take this opportunity to check the top of the coffee table for any "off limits" items. I'm watching him over the top of my monitor. He's on one knee, in the proposal position if you will, with both hands gripping the table top. And hes wobbly, trying to remember just how he gets that other knee off the ground. Just as Chris walks into the room Liam loses his handling on the table and goes over like a brick. one the way down he hits the side of his face on the table leg AND THEN hits his head on the floor. And I'm sitting there, watching him. Nice. In one single, fluid motion Chris scoops the babe up, glares me down for being a horrible mother and calms Liam's cries. Ok, maybe he just looked at me as if to say you should have been watching him closer. One can't be sure. Either way the lesson is the same: If you let your child exersize their independence they may very well get hurt. When they do you can be damn sure its going to hurt you more than it hurts them.