5 Things

5 things you probably didn't know about me:

1. I hate talking on the phone. There are only a few exceptions. One is my mother. I will always talk to her at length about everything and nothing. Another is if I miss you and am feeling exceptionally chatty. And finally, if I need something from you, ring, ring. Other than that I'm probably going to stay on the line only long enough to share or receive information. Its nothing personal. My dad is the same way; I blame him.

2. I love mayonnaise. Really. I use way more than I should on a sandwich, burger or wrap. I even dunk my fries in it. But I feel guilty about it, shameful even.

3. I own a gun. Again, when your father is a firearms and toolmarks expert it just sort of happens.

4. I have a very short fuse. I may have mentioned it before but I think it bears repeating. Due to my mostly shy and quiet exterior its actually quite comical if not a little alarming when I turn into the hulk. A few examples of me going off the deep end: If I bang my head or bash my elbow I will immediately proceed to slam my fist into the nearest unforgiving surface (I'm not patching any Sheetrock just because I hit my funny bone). Another time, I slammed an ashtray into a table which in turn shattered the ashtray into my palm. Stupid right? I know. I am not ignorant to the fact that I am now the role model to a strong willed, stubborn little person watching, absorbing my every move, every outburst waiting to make them his own when frustration strikes.

God sent me Liam, to teach me patience and humility... and he tests me everyday.

5. Prior to having Liam, I was a bully. no lie. Whenever I would drink, there would come a point in the evening of consumption when I would have one too many and become... volatile. To the point where something (anything) Chris would say would upset my precariously unbalanced emotional state and BOOM, I'm all:

"You're going to bed? Oh, so what, you're tired and you're just going to leave me down here? Fine GO AHEAD I don't give a... wait, where are you going? DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! You don't respect me!" And then I'm following him upstairs crying because I cant stay in a relationship where I'm not respected. Knowing the drill, Chris just shakes his head at me and pretty much ignores my ranting until I pass out. End scene.

Listen, we all have a little bit of crazy in us. Thankfully, I outgrew mine. sort of.