One year ago today: The Conclusion.

January 2, 2009 1:00 am.

Doctor: "Ok now, just one more big push and he'll be here. Would you like to reach down and touch his head?"

Me: *shakes head feverishly*

Doctor: "Are you sure? Its right here, I'm holding his head you can touch your little boy's head if you just reach down.

Me: "NO, I don't want to touch his head. I just want to keep pushing and get this over with!"

Which is just what I did.

On 1/02/09 at 1:02am Liam Smith Flanagan was born into this world. 6 pounds 5 ounces 19.5 inches long. Ten fingers, ten toes. There was some concern with meconium getting into his little lungs so they swiftly took him to the other side of the room to aspirate and run all the little tests to make sure he was, indeed, perfect.
After what felt like an HOUR he started crying and after what felt like a LIFETIME they brought him to me.

In all my life I never knew I could feel that way for another human being. Maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was the exhaustion but I swear my heart exploded in my chest and all the love I've ever felt poured out for him.

I had been in labor for 21 hours and I was STARVING. So before the nurse even finished asking me if she could get me anything I cut her off: "turkey sandwich with chips and a Coke, please."

That coke; a real coke, with caffeine, I still remember how wonderful it was after 9 months.

I scarfed down that sandwich while Chris, Kim and Katie took turns passing and cooing over Liam. By 2:00am we were being wheeled to a recovery room. Liam went off to the nursery for his first bath and a snooze while Chris and I fell into individual comas.

Tonight, one year later, Liam weighs almost 20 pounds and is probably close to 30 inches tall. I held him in my arms as I rocked him to sleep and I felt my heart explode again. I realized that if time is going to go whizzing by I'm going to have to slow down and soak up minutes like these with the two loves of my life.

2009 in pictures

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One year ago today: Part two

January 1, 2009 4:00 am: Happy New Y- OWWW!

Here we go again. Except this time its different. I'm not sure I can explain it but this time there is a sense of 'no more screwing around, lets get this baby outta here!' Chris resumed his duties of writing down the times of each of my contractions, reminding me to breathe and catering to my every whim. Over the next 11 hours the contractions progressed from 20 minutes apart and moderately uncomfortable to 5 minutes apart and 'Sweet Lord above why have you forsaken me.' I am not kidding. So at 3:oo pm we called the hospital to let labor and delivery know where we were at:

Me: "Yes hello, My name is Lara Flanagan and I am having strong contr- AAAAACKKKKKK, I'm *gasp* sorry, *moan* I'm ..."

Some nurse: "You're having a contraction right now? its ok, I'll wait.

Me: *groan* Thanks. *pant*

Me: "Ok its done. I'm having them about every 5 minutes."

Some nurse: "And they are strong enough to disrupt normal activity?"

Me: "Yes. Generally speaking, I am capable of having a phone conversation without sounding like a raving perverted lunatic."

Some nurse: OK well if your bag of waters is still intact and you're feeling like you can manage it I would recommend sitting it out at home for another hour or so. If your contractions progress to minutes a apart or your water breaks then come right in.

Me: "Great. Thanks so much for your help."



I return to the aptly named fetal position on the couch to await the next wave of contractions.

Side bar: In prepared childbirth class we were taught all sorts of positions that are conducive to the progression of labor, one of my favorites through out pregnancy was sitting on a large exercise ball. It was great in alleviating my lower back and sciatic pain and apparently was a great position for labor as it opened up the pelvic floor which, in turn, allowed for the baby to station into the birth canal. I tried sitting on that ball one time during a contraction. One time.
It was like riding a bicycle without a seat over grooved pavement. After that I didn't want that damn ball anywhere near me.

So I returned to the couch and endured the contractions, each one coming a little quicker and stronger than the one before. Just before 4pm I looked at Chris and said "That's it, I'm not waiting any longer." He started the truck, grabbed my bags, helped me into my coat and had me in the car and on the road in seconds flat. Anxious much?

We got to the hospital and at this point the contractions were only two minutes apart so standing at the counter waiting to be checked in was torture.

Before long I was shown to a room in triage. The nurse informed me that she would be back in a few minutes to check and see if I had earned a stay in the hospital. I quickly looked at Chris and said I had better be 4 centimeters because I WAS NOT GOING HOME. Its protocol for hospitals to send you home of you're not dilated enough. And protocol or not I was staying put.



After what felt like a lifetime and 700 more contractions the OB on call came in to check my progress. DING DING DING! Lucky contestant number two you have earned yourself an all inclusive two day three night stay! I was 8 centimeters. EIGHT CENTIMETERS! 8 centimeters is like finding out you won the lottery and you only have to share it with 5 other people. I was thrilled, you know, in spite of the devastating pain I was experiencing. So the next thing I know I'm gathering up my things and being wheeling into a delivery room. Chris made a few phone calls to let people know my status and within 12 minutes my sister Kim and niece Katie were there. Which is totally amazing seeing as they live 40 minutes from the hospital. At 6pm-ish the anesthesiologist arrived and Chris promptly stepped out of the room. He has a thing with needles and the last thing I needed was him passing out from witnessing the epidural.

By 6:30 I was feeling no pain. Now all I had to do was rest and wait.



Stay tuned for the conclusion...

One year ago today... Part One.

I woke to sharp pains rising in my belly like a crescendo. It was 4 am. After a scant minute the pain subsided and I hefted my body back down into my nest of pillows and blanket tucking this one here and that one there making sure I had support where I needed it. Not perfect but it would do. Just as I was dozing off, it came again. A wave starting dull and low but quickly gaining intensity as it spread up and over my body. I glanced at the clock: 4:20. Seriously? Was this it? Was I really going to spend the last day of 2008 in labor? I began the process of rolling over, a 4 point turn that created a small earthquake in the bed bouncing slumbering husband perilously close to the edge of the bed. After more shuffling of blankets and pillows I compromised. Comfort was elusive. I laid there watching the clock, waiting. 4:34: here we go again. I nudged Chris, with a slight grunt of discomfort. He stirred but didn't wake. "honey" I said. "wake up, I'm having contractions" He rolled over and looked at me, blinking... I grimaced and waited for the pain to ease while he caressed my head. I held his hand and we dozed in the calm between. We had our own little unspoken communication going, I would squeeze his hand to indicate the pain was coming and he would remind me, by example, to breathe. This went on for a while until finally, at the tail end of one, I opened my eyes and asked "How long was that one?" "I'm not sure" he answered. Apparently this reply was not acceptable because I countered with "WELL, IF YOU CANT KEEP TRACK YOU HAD BETTER START WRITING THEM DOWN!"
To which he promptly jumped from the bed to retrieve paper and a pen. We documented the times as the contractions came and went about every ten minutes. I had just barely enough time to recover before another came knocking. We played time the contractions for a few hours and then at 11:53 am the last contraction of the day promptly ended. Wanting to keep everything progressing My nieces; Katie and Becky and I decided to walk the mall. Let gravity and motion do the work for me. So we hit The Streets at Southpoint and then I devoured dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. I was on high alert, every little nudge, cramp and hiccup gave pause. In these brief hesitations everyone went quiet and waited for my reaction. But nothing seemed to be happening in the labor department so we called it day and went home to ring in the new year with apple cider and a movie. A movie I didn't make it 2o minutes into before falling fast asleep.

Here's wishing you a New Year filled with blessings and joy.