LobsterGate

I work in a restaurant and I really love it. I love the people that I work with and for. I love the quality of the food we sell and the drinks we sling. I love our regulars, the people who take the time to get to know us and appreciate what we do for them. Oh and I love the money, the money is good too.

Here's a little anecdote about what I don't love:

Wednesday night at the restaurant. Dinner special: Live Maine lobster with fresh drawn butter, boiled red potatoes and sweet corn on the cob, 18 bucks. Its busy. And by busy I mean we are full inside and out, there's a 30 minute wait for tables. Oh and its like 95 degrees, 85 inside.

I'm first cut, which means I'd be the first of the servers to go home. Its 8:40. We close at 9:00 and I'm told I'm being sat a 4 top. I am happy about this. I'm here to make money. Bring it.

So we seat them at table two. But no, one of the women in the party would rather sit at table eight. Table eight is dirty but she'll wait. She's the kind of woman who knows what she wants, and is overly assertive until she gets it. Some might describe her as a bully, but not me. I'd use a different B word. Table eight gets cleared, cleaned and reset. My four top is now seated at table eight. I attempt to greet them but am made to wait until they are finished ignoring me and talking amongst themselves about how one of the ladies (the assertive one) wants two lobsters. I manage to get their drink orders and quickly return with their drinks. They say they're ready to order (even though two of the four are still scanning the menu undecided). So this woman, the one that wants two lobsters says "I'm having the lobster and I want TWO, but not two entrees, just one entree with two lobsters." OK, got it. Next: lobster, next: lobster, and next: lobster. Jack Pot.

I immediately take their order to the assistant manager to see how he wants me to order/price the double lobster and he says "You need how many? I think we only have three left..." EFF.
The kitchen confirms it. 3 lobster left. So I make the walk to the table and say in my most regrettful voice: "I have some bad news" and the double lobster woman slams her hand on the table and says "DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME YOU ARE OUT OF LOBSTER! To which I reply: "OK, we are not out of lobster, but we only have 3 left."

Lobster woman: (growing angry) "I cant believe this, this is... I, I CALLED AHEAD. I wanted to reserve our lobsters and the man told me you NEVER run out of lobster!
Me: I do apologize for the oversight, but the good news is we do have 3 lobsters so if one of you would be interested in selecting another entree, perhaps our Dungeness Crab.. (the irony of this recommendation escapes them)

Lobster woman: NO, I'm done. Lets go, I can't stay here!

Others at her table: (interupting her rant) "No, no, no, its OK, well just order something else.."

Lobster woman: "But they told me they don't run out! Is he here?"

Me: "Is who here ma'am?"

Lobster woman: "The man who personally guaranteed me you wouldn't run out of lobster?"

Me: "I'm not sure who that was ma'am, and I'm sorry that they made a mistake, unfortunately there isn't much we can do about it except offer you one of our many..."

Lobster woman: "I want a manager!"

Me: "Let me run and get him for you."

Nick has been standing in the threshold of the dining room watching the scene so he's already caught up on the situation and knows what he's getting himself into. He's at the table for, something like, 5 minutes which is an hour or more in restaurant terms. Seriously. Think about it, if you sat at a table for 5 minutes before being greeted you'd probably be pretty irritated by the time someone came over to you. this is because when you step into a restaurant something happens on the space/time continuum. They're doing research on it now.
When Nick finally steps away from the table he's received his share of tongue lashings but they're not leaving so he's done his job.
I return to the table to get orders and its 3 lobster and one salmon topped salad.
For the next 15 minutes everything goes smoothly.
They're happily eating their salads and cornbread when another table's order goes trotting by. An order of two lobsters comes to rest at the outside table that my table of 4 directly overlooks. Remember when they moved tables? Yeaaah, they wanted a window seat.
I'm not standing at the table when this happens but Lobster woman elbows her husband and shouts: "Can you believe this! They said they were out of lobster! Those people got here after us! Go get the manager!"
Husband promptly jumps up and runs into the bar to look for Nick. When husband returns to the table with Nick, Nick explains that while that table may have walked into the door after them, they may have even been seated after them but that table got their order in first which makes those two lobsters rightfully table 23's.
She doesn't believe us. She thinks we are lying to her. We probably have a Red Lobster tank in the back that's chock full of lobster. Lobster that we aren't offering her just to be mean because we are in the business of torturing people with what they want but can't have. It isn't a very lucrative business but it is entertaining.
I return to the table to refill water glasses. Husband has cornbread floating in his. I want to just refill it and give it back to him, he probably doesn't know he backwashes. I replace it with a clean glass. Lobster woman starts in about the lobsters on table 23 and how she even brought her own tools, to prove she's serious about her lobster she pulls a Ziploc bag out of her purse with a Williams-Sonoma looking claw cracker, I think its engraved. "Wow," I say "You mean business!" Then she tell me that she knows for a fact that they were here before table 23.
"Yes, you probably were. Unfortunately, as sometimes happens, they were quicker to order their dinner, which probably happened when you were changing tables." I smile sympathetically. This seems to do the trick, because now I can see that she's thinking about all the time they wasted. She's thinking: Damn it! She's right! We moved tables, then we hemmed and hawed over a bottle of wine or beers... And then Garrison couldn't decide between the lobster or the catfish, Damn you Garrison!

I'm satisfied as I walk away.

Once the lobsters are plated we drop their food off and I ask if there's anything more I can get them. I half wince as I say this knowing the answer is surely two more lobsters. But they just shake their heads, everyone looking pleased with their respective dishes. Lobster woman dismisses me with a wave of her overly bejeweled hand.

They dine, they drink, they talk. There is laughter.

After the plates have been cleared and dessert has been offered lobster woman says: "I couldn't eat another bite; everything was delicious! I guess I didn't need two lobsters after all!"

Everyone else at the table looks sheepish.

Can you beat that? I mean, honestly.

I go to print the bill and all of the beers have been comped. They've been taken care of by the house which is a normal practice to keep people happy, to get them to come back. And bring their friends. This is also known as "taking one for the team" because unfortunately for me, this drops the bill significantly. What was once a bill of $110.00 just dropped to about $75.00. If you're in the business you know its fair to tip on the bill amount before anything has been comped or discounted, after all your server did the work to get it to you. Of course this is known by few and practiced by even fewer.
They split the bill and each couple left me 6 dollars. Was it worth the hassle? Definitely not. Was it worth the repeat business? Only time will tell. All I know for sure is that if I ever behave like a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum in a place of business because I cant have what I want, someone needs to take me forcibly by the arm and escort me outside for a time-out.

On Learning Forgiveness

“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it's the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the principles of loyalty and fidelity; What it means to be faithful to ones family or friends. My parents raised their children to value family above all else; and to love friends as though they were family. Now that I am a parent, I truly understand what this means. The act of being selfless. loving someone more than yourself, putting their welfare before your own. At the altar we vow, before God, to do this in our marriage. When our newborn babies are placed in our arms for the first time we make this promise from our hearts. But what about everyone else? Where is their promise to be handled with care and respect?

A while back I was ridiculed, pretty harshly for what I do here and on my food blog. I was made to feel ashamed for wanting to share my love of family and food. I was interpreted as a self righteous and condescending fool with an expensive mixer. What was most unsettling for me and perhaps the reason why I'm still dwelling on it now, was the fact that my critic was someone I consider(ed) a good friend. It hurt my heart and my pride to know that people I trusted were laughing at me behind my back. So how do I move on from this, how do resolve these feelings of resentment that rise to the surface whenever I am reminded of what happened?

The answer, of course, is forgiveness.

The only person affected by my lack of forgiveness is me. I can't imagine my friend is sitting around lamenting over the long term affects this has had on me. In fact it is likely that he is blissfully unaware.
Shortly after all of this happened I had made my decision to forgive and just be done with it but as time rolled on I realized that what I was doing was ignoring it, pretending it never happened. I've spent months wondering why, if I have forgiven, do I still feel the sting, the anger? Its because Forgiveness is a process, not a one time act. It isn't something that you give out to others, its something you do for yourself, to promote healing and peace in your life. I can't very well expect to successfully teach my son to be merciful if I, myself, can't master it when it counts. In life, in our relationships we all slip up, I know I've made my fair share of mistakes, and some are real doozies. But its what we do moving forward that counts; our character is measured by doing the right thing when its not the easy choice. I know my friend is sorry for hurting me and I'm fairly confident that it wont happen again, at least not to me, but hopefully anyone else either.
So I'm forgiving my friend. I've always said I will not be a victim, I have the choice. And I choose me.

Structured Chaos

At 17 months Liam is WIDE OPEN.

He is everywhere, all the time, at the speed of light.

Just for fun lets run through an average day at our house.
8:00 am Liam wakes, gets a diaper change and hits the ground running.
while I make breakfast he takes all of the clean dish towels out of the drawer and throws them onto the floor.
8:30 Liam eats breakfast, I pick up dishtowels and stuff them, unfolded, back into the drawer.
8:50 After shaking the milk out of his "leak proof" sippy cup and soaking his breakfast in it, Liam swipes the remaining scrambled eggs, toast and banana off of his tray and onto the floor.
9:00 concluding a battle to get his hands and face wiped I set Liam free and drop to my knees not only to clean the milky-egg mess but to summon the strength to get through to nap time.
9:30 I shoo Liam out of the oven drawer and into the living room to play while I put all of the cookie sheets back and finally pour some coffee.
10:30 Story time. Liam will pick out several books for me to read and then he forcibly turns the pages faster than I can read them.
11:30 Nap time. While Liam sleeps I: check email, pick up toys, exercise,sweep and/or vacuum as needed, empty then load dishwasher, make the bed, put away laundry, make and scarf down lunch, waste time on facebook and various other websites, jump in the shower and prepare lunch for Liam.
1:30 Liam wakes and starts screaming because he's gotten his chunky little thigh caught between the slats in his crib rail.
1:40 Liam eats lunch.
2:00 Repeat shaking of the juice onto the tray then splashing the refuse to the floor etc...
2:30 Liam gets cleaned up and we head outside to play. If the mosquitoes don't immediately eat us alive we'll play in our yard alternating between the pool, sandbox and various other toys. Often trying to bring the sand into the pool and visa versa.
3:30 snack time, for quick cleanup snack is usually enjoyed outside. And by enjoyed I mean eaten only after it has hit the ground, been stepped on and inspected by various bugs.
4:00 Errands, we jump into the car to hit the grocery store, bank, post office or whatever. While in the car Liam finds a sippy cup half full with soy milk. FROM DAYS AGO. And gulps it down as though he were stranded on a desert island and just discovered water. Within seconds the curdled mess comes back up, all over Liam and his carseat.
5:30 A quick change of clothes then Liam and I hit the kitchen to prepare dinner. If he's not too cranky we pull a chair up to the counter so Liam can help. After a few minutes of 'helping' Liam toddles off to discover, and eat, a few macaroni hiding under the fridge.
6:00 Dinner. Repeat breakfast/lunch scene.
6:30 I clean up the mess from Liam's dinner while Liam attempts to help by picking up food off of the floor and putting it in his toy box.
7:00 Bathtime. Liam plays in the tub occasionally splashing most of the water out of the tub and onto me. After bath we begin The Dance, wherein Liam and I lock horns in a struggle as old as time: getting ready for bed. More specifically brushing teeth and putting on jammies.
7:30 Story time. Usually, Dr. Seuss will provide just the right amount of entertainment to maintain his interest while simultaneously lending a soothing cadence to help wind down from a busy day.
8:00 Bedtime. phew.

8:10 Chris returns home from work.

I wonder what's on the agenda for tomorrow?