My two cents

I came across this blog post titled "My son is gay" via facebook. Since its posting it has received millions of web hits and national news coverage. If you've not heard about it you can read it here.
After sharing the link on facebook I received some feedback from friends and family expressing their opinions on the matter. After a few days of thinking about it I've got an opinion of my own.
Here is what I think:
This is a mother whose love for her son is obvious. I think we should all give her a break as she has, apparently, lost her copy of the "how to be a perfect parent" manual and is now winging it.

If I were in her shoes (I very well may be one day given my son's infatuation with Dora and her backpack) and given an identical set of circumstances I don't know that I would do things much differently. I think, certainly, I'd try and sell him on other costume choices but in the end if all he wanted to be for Halloween was Dora or Tinkerbell or whatever I'd allow it.
My brother, after reading her blog post, stated that he would never allow his son to wear that costume and that he believes this mother has made her son a target for ridicule. Perhaps, but ridicule by whom? At the age of five, the boy's pre-K classmates weren't the ones pointing and making faces. It was other mothers. I think this is shameful. Being a mother (parent) is hard enough with out having other people pass judgement on your decisions.

As a relatively new mother I am constantly second guessing myself; worrying over how the decisions I make and the actions I take or fail to take will effect my son. When Liam was a baby we were told that co-sleeping was bad, that if we didn't roll over and crush him in his sleep then the sheer act of sharing a family bed would render him dependant and unable to sleep alone. I made the choice to have Liam sleep in the bed with us because it worked for us. And then at six months, when it stopped working for us, we transitioned him to a crib in his own room.
When we chose to use The Ferber Method of progressive waiting to help Liam to fall asleep on his own I was told it was cruel and neglectful and Liam could grow to be a man with trust issues because I didn't pick him up every time he cried from his crib. Yet in three nights he learned to go to bed and fall asleep on his own without throwing a production complete with tears and hyperventilating. My point is I did what I thought was best for my son. and it worked for us. which is all that counts. I would wager a guess that my nephew, (now a college athlete in love with a beautiful girl) looking back would be glad that his father didn't allow him to wear a Daphne costume for Halloween when he was five. That choice would have been the right one for his son.

I don't know this woman or her son. All I know is that I am in no position to judge her for doing what she believes is best for her son. When he's in college and he brings a date home to meet mom, he'll either be mortified at the prospect of her showing off his 5 year old self in a Daphne costume or he'll be grateful that his mother knew that acceptance breeds self-confidence and even at 5 encouraged him to be himself. With all the media attention bullying has be getting lately I think its important that as role models we take a good long look at how we are treating each other. Our children are watching.